Do I Even Belong Here?
What it takes to defy stereotypes of Asian females in school
By Esha Bajwa
You are enthusiastic about taking an engineering class this semester. Upon entering the classroom, you immediately discover that neither your classmates nor your teacher looks like you.
Thoughts of doubt and confusion consume you. You start to wonder: Something must be wrong. Am I in the right classroom? Do I even belong here?
You try your best to ignore this fact and start diligently working when you overhear a classmate make a remark that sticks with you.
Girls don’t have the brain to build bots.
These words sting, and you are in shock of what you just heard.
This is the daunting reality for many women of color, including myself, who dare to exist in spaces that weren’t designed for us. Our dreams and aspirations are challenged, or even dismissed altogether. Far too often, female and feminine-presenting students are treated in a manner that makes them feel disrespected, as if their presence is not taken seriously by their male counterparts.
It is time that female students of color are provided with the tools and resources that will allow them to excel in their classes. They should not ever feel expatriated from the classroom for their differences but instead uplifted and supported by their peers, teachers, staff, and administrators.
“Students of color in general often experience disruptions to learning due to stereotyping. And some of those stereotypes are unique to Asian Americans.”
Students of color in general often experience disruptions to learning due to stereotyping. And some of those stereotypes are unique to Asian Americans.
In a study by Dr. Punita Rice on K-12 experiences of South Asian Americans in schools, over three-quarters of the participants exclaimed that their teachers assumed that they were smarter than their peers from other cultural groups. Additionally, over half of South Asian Americans reported feeling teachers tend to overgeneralize all Asian American subgroups.
The stereotyping of Asian American students contributes to the “model minority” myth, which refers to the assumption that people of Asian descent are incredibly smart, respectful, and all-around “perfect” students. The categorization of Asian Americans as a naturally academically successful monolith may seem positive on the surface, but it can also be extremely detrimental to their ability to grow as individuals. Young and impressionable Asian children internalize the expectation of fitting an ideal racial image rather than acknowledge their strengths and weaknesses in various subjects.
I have felt the impact of this myth. I have felt the pressure to do exceedingly well on everything. I have been expected to know all the answers to the math problems in my Calculus class, as if I were a walking calculator. Getting an A felt more compulsory than accomplishing. The grade felt like a slight sigh of relief before I would press forward and become obsessed with getting another perfect one. This unhealthy cycle caused me to experience academic burnout before I learned how to recover.
“I have felt the impact of this myth. I have felt the pressure to do exceedingly well on everything. I have been expected to know all the answers to the math problems in my Calculus class, as if I were a walking calculator.”
I should never be held back by unreasonable expectations, and neither should the thousands of Asian Americans across the country be cornered into an unobtainable box of “perfection.”
But the model minority myth isn’t the only one holding girls and women back. Paradoxically, for some of us interested in Science, Technology, Engineering and Math (STEM) especially, there also exists another set of stereotypes that place on us much lower expectations.
Unfortunately, young women of color are frequently deprived of the tools and resources that other students might take for granted. The lack of representation of women of color in school curricula in particular has prompted many young girls to conclude that it is not possible for them to step outside more traditional service or domestic roles. Along with this, many girls of all racial and ethnic backgrounds are led to believe that boys are more mathematically-inclined, which discourages them from exploring career opportunities that might require math skills.
Meghana Kudrimoti, an Indian-American graduate of a Lexington public high school who is now a medical student at The Ohio State University, says the challenge for Asian girls and women in STEM goes beyond unreasonable expectations of success and is compounded in places with less ethnic and racial diversity. “Here in Kentucky, where less than 1% of the population is Hindu, people with brown skin just automatically get lumped in together. We are all just brown folk,” she said. “All of us. If you have brown skin, you are treated as lesser-than in this state. I think I felt more [overt] racism growing up than the model minority myth.”
Her experiences highlight the cultural and racial disconnect that many students of color face in the classroom as they frequently feel “othered” and dismissed. As Kudrimotri sees it, in a place with relatively little racial diversity, despite the model minority myth that prevails more broadly for Asian students, there is in fact less expectation for Black and brown students to succeed, which can largely contribute to their overall lack of self esteem.
But Kudrimotri says regardless of the wildly varying external expectations, there are proven strategies to support women of color in STEM. “I think the biggest thing for me was mentorship. I think that being able to see strong, independent Black and brown women in my life made a huge difference. I think it gave me a lot of confidence growing up,” she told me.
As a young and ambitious woman who desires to pursue engineering, I hope that my future is filled with inspiring mentors and meaningful projects that allow me to help others and to develop practical, hands-on skills. Although I have lots of internal passion and drive, I acknowledge that I might encounter hardships surrounding my abilities due to external gender and racial-ethnic stereotypes that still exist in STEM spaces. But I won’t let this hold me back; I will do everything in my power to stand in opposition to rigid roles and generalizations dictating what women like me should and should not do with our lives.
Esha Bajwa is a part of the Kentucky Student Voice Team and Young Authors Greenhouse’s 2021 Education Justice Writing Cohort. She is a senior at Fern Creek High School in Louisville, Kentucky.
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